5 Months and Counting!!

I can't believe our wedding is only 5 months away!  Some days I feel like I will never be able to pull off this wedding and other days I feel completely confident.  The last couple days, however, I have been feeling very discouraged and a little angry at myself for letting this wedding get so out of hand.  I never in a million years would have thought that this one day was going to get so expensive.  It's weird because I keep flip-flopping back and forth between rationalizing everything and feeling insanely guilty.  For example, in my last post I was talking about wanting a crystal "curtain" and brainstorming about all kinds of extravagant things and the next day - I was up all night feeling sick about how much money my family is spending. 

We met with the lighting people yesterday - and I think that was what started my negativity - because I couldn't get this guy to give me any kind of solid pricing.  After discussing some ideas with him, he gave us a number (which was A TON higher than I was expecting), but he did not do a good job of breaking down the pricing for me.  All I wanted was to hear, "_______ costs $x.xx and _______ costs $x.xx" - but it felt like he was just making it up as he went.  He didn't have any paperwork that showed any kind of package or pricing - so needless to say (since I wear my emotions on my sleeve) I probably came off as either a bitch or a brat.  Meanwhile, my mom wanted every type of lighting that the guy had to offer - which we did not see eye to eye on and lead to some mild frustrations as well (for both of us).  Since we are for sure going to need some lighting, we gave the guy the deposit that he needed to lock him in for my date - but walked out without any idea of the cost.

I chatted with Firestone's event coordinators afterwards and got some questions that I had answered.  Pretty much everything I asked about I got the answer that I wanted - so that was good at least.  They weren't regarding anything super important - just little things like whether I can have flower petals on the grass for the ceremony.  Since then, I have been trying to take some time off from wedding planning because I was getting a little burnt out.  We do, however, have our meeting with the officiant tomorrow.  I really hope that he works out because I really like having a husband/wife team.  I must be biased, because my photographers are a husband/wife team as well...weird!